Two forms
Both are called examination of conscience, but they do different things.
Daily, within prayer. It looks at the whole day: at what was given as much as at what was missed. It asks first where were you, God? and only then where was I? The Ignatian shape of it is the Daily Examen.
Before confession. This one searches deliberately: what belongs to be said? Here an ordered set of questions helps – along the commandments or along the areas of life.
Whoever knows only the second form experiences the examination as something unpleasant to be got through before confession. Whoever practises the first daily finds the second almost easy: by then he already knows himself.
How to make it daily
- Become still. A minute or two. Do not start straight in.
- Ask for light. Lord, show me this day through your eyes. Without that request it becomes self-interrogation, which is either too hard or too comfortable.
- Give thanks. What was good? Concretely, not in general.
- Walk through. The hours in order. Where was I alive, where narrow? What did I do, what did I leave undone?
- Name and hand over. Say what went wrong, be sorry, ask forgiveness – and accept the forgiveness.
- One resolution. A single small one, for tomorrow.
The questions that carry further
Not all at once. Take two or three and stay with them for a week.
Towards God
- Did I pray today? Did I look away where I could have looked?
- Did I trust God to hold me – or was I my own rescuer?
Towards my neighbour
- Whom did I meet today, and how did I treat them?
- Did I listen, or only wait until I could speak?
- Did I speak about someone in a way I would not have done had they been present?
- What should I have done and did not do?
Towards myself
- Where was I unfree today – which point do I keep returning to?
- Did I treat my time, my work, my body as things entrusted to me?
- What did I avoid because it was uncomfortable?
What the Church says about it
The Catechism sets the examination in a particular frame: it happens in the light of the Word of God (CCC 1454). Not in the light of your own standards, and not in the light of what others expect of you. That is why asking for light comes before the list of questions.
On weighing what you find: mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate consent together (CCC 1857). Ignorance, passion, external pressure or illness can lessen imputability (CCC 1860). And the person is not finally judged by herself: "we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God" (CCC 1861).
In practice: naming, yes. Giving yourself a grade, no.
Where it tips – and what helps
The examination of conscience can turn into scrupulosity: it takes longer, finds more and more, never quite ends, and leaves fear behind instead of peace. Ignatius knew this from his own experience and wrote rules against it (Spiritual Exercises 345–351). His advice is sober: do not give in to the scruple, act against it – stop when the time is up, and accept the forgiveness even when the feeling lags behind.
If that is not enough: speak to a priest or a spiritual director. That is not a step backwards; it is the way that is provided.